I Want To Help
by robertwnielsen
Summary: Caitlin sees Hawke beginning to withdraw even more into himself, but doesn't understand why. But, she knows who does.
1. Chapter 1

_I Want To Help_

_Summary –_ Caitlin sees Hawke beginning to withdraw even more into himself, but doesn't understand why. But, she knows who does.

A/N #1 – I don't own the characters...either Bellisario or Universal does. But since _they _won't play with these characters anymore, I do every now and then.

A/N #2 – This is another idea from Starclipper01, with a little refining from Sirius7.

"Dom? Dom, I need to talk to you for a second," Caitlin O'Shannessy said to her boss and friend, Dominic Santini. She had seen her co-worker and friend Stringfellow Hawke moping around the hangar for most of the past three days, and she was beginning to worry about him. _In more ways than one,_ Caitlin said to herself. _The only things he's said to me have been about work in the past three days. He's never completely ignored me like this before...and I've got to admit...that really scares me,_ she said to herself as Dominic came over.

"Sure, sweetheart. What's on your mind?" Dom answered his young employee, then added, "Hey, why don't we go into the office and talk?" Dom asked, reading the expression in Caitlin's eyes. _I get the feeling that she _**needs**_ to talk about something,_ Dom said to himself worriedly, _and I've got a sneaking suspicion I know what that "something," or rather... "some_**one,**_" is. _

"Sure, Dom," Caitlin said with a forced smile as she followed the older man into Santini Air's small office. Once they were both inside, Dom locked the door and said, "Okay, Cait. Do I really need to ask what's bugging you?"

"I doubt it, Dom," Caitlin replied. "I think you already know what...and _who_, I'm concerned about," she said, and her expression told Dominic all he needed to know.

_I knew it, _Dom said to himself. Aloud, he said, "I figured as much. What's String gone and done now?"

"Dom, it's nothing like that...well, maybe a little...he hasn't said word one to me other than talking about work in three days...and, even for _him, _that's kinda weird...don't you think?" Dom couldn't help but notice a tear forming in Caitlin's eye, which she quickly wiped away with a flick of her finger. "I'm sorry...I don't mean to get emotional like this...it's just..."

"You're worried about him, aren't you?" Dominic asked, even though he knew the question was redundant. _Of _**course**_ she's worried about String. Maybe not the same way I worry about him, but she still worries, _Dom said to himself.

"Yeah, Dom. I'm worried. What's going on with him?" Caitlin asked.

"Well, sweetheart...I really don't know if I should tell you this..." Dominic knew what was bugging String, but he also knew that String had sworn him to secrecy about it. _String would never forgive me if I told Cait,_ Dom said to himself, _but...since I can't be there, maybe she can. _

"Tell me _what, _Dom?" Caitlin demanded, and Dom could see just by the look on her face that she was getting irritated. "In case you've forgotten, Dom, I care about Hawke too. Probably more than either one of you knows," she continued, then realized what she'd said. _Oops, _Caitlin said to herself. _I did it again. _She remembered saying almost the same thing a few weeks prior, during the Horn affair when Hawke had been kidnapped. _But it's not like Dom doesn't know how I feel about Hawke,_ Caitlin reminded herself. _He saw it during the Horn affair—__both in Michael's limo, and__ when I called dibs on Angelica, and he's seen it several times since then. _Ever since Hawke had been kidnapped, Caitlin had come to realize that her feelings for him ran much deeper than simple friendship. _I realized when I thought he was dead in my arms that...that I love him,_ Caitlin recalled. _And, that I've loved him for a very long time._

"Cait...it's about this," Dominic said as he pointed to a date circled on his desk calendar. "It's...it's Saint John's birthday this coming Sunday, and String always has a hard time when that date comes up," Dom said, knowing he'd just broken a huge confidence of String's. _He told me never to tell anybody about that, _Dom said, worried himself. _But, Cait might be just the person to help him through it...and who knows what else might happen?_ Dom wasn't stupid. He knew that by telling Caitlin about Saint John's birthday, he risked getting chewed out, at the very least, by String. _But he needs to share it with somebody,_ Dom said to himself, _and why not Cait?_

"Oh, man," Caitlin said, as the full weight of what Dominic had just told her became apparent. "No _wonder _he gets like this...has he done it every year?"

"Not every year...some years, he hides it, others, he buries it with his work...but this year, something's different...I don't know what, either. Listen, Cait...I've got a commitment on Sunday, so I can't go up to the cabin and be with him...would you...?"

"Say no more, Dom," Caitlin replied, then realized what she'd gotten herself into. "Um...stupid question...but is Hawke gonna be alone up there?" She had wanted to spend some time alone with Hawke at the cabin, to maybe figure out whether or not there would ever be more than just good friendship between them; _but I don't want to show up at his front door on Sunday if he's gonna be by himself, _Caitlin thought to herself worriedly.

"Is that a problem?" Dom retorted.

"Yeah, it might be," Caitlin replied. "Can you imagine what Hawke would do if I show up at the front door of the cabin on Sunday morning?"

"Yeah, Cait...'cause it's probably very similar to what he'll do to _me, _when he finds out I told you about this," Dominic replied honestly. "But I had to do something, Cait. Like I said, I can't go up there on Sunday...so...can you do this for me? As a friend? And, if he doesn't kill us both, I think String'll eventually understand why I did this...heck, he might even appreciate it," Dominic said with a forced grin.

_And...maybe I can settle a few other things in my mind,_ Caitlin decided. She hoped that being there for Hawke, as a friend, would help him see that she cared about him, and that eventually, she would be able to tell him just _how much_ she cared. _I want him to know that...that I love him, _Caitlin said to herself. She finally said, "Yeah, Dom. I'll do it," with a forced smile of her own.

When Hawke returned to the hangar, Caitlin made a conscious effort to be as positive as she could around him, even offering to buy him lunch that afternoon. He refused at first, but Caitlin had already decided she was not going to take "no" for an answer, and she insisted until Hawke finally agreed. They sat and talked mostly about work, but Caitlin finally asked him about his weekend plans, and Hawke told her he would probably be at the cabin for most of the weekend, especially since Dom was going to be busy until late Sunday night. When he asked why she was wondering about his weekend, Caitlin brushed it off and said, "No reason, Hawke. Can't a girl be curious about her friend?" She worried that her smile might betray her true feelings, but Hawke smiled back and said, "Yeah...I guess she can."

Caitlin resolved on Saturday that she was going to do whatever she could to help Hawke get through the next day, and just like with lunch the previous day, she would not take "no" for an answer. _I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared,_ she said to herself that night, before she went to sleep, _but Dom's right. We've got to do something._

Caitlin drove out to the hangar bright and early Sunday morning, thankful that Dom had left instructions with airport security that she would be there at some point that day, and that she would be taking one of his choppers up. She quickly made all the necessary tower calls and preflight checks, then started the engine and took the patriotically-painted chopper into the sky.

About an hour later, Caitlin brought her chopper down on the dock at Hawke's cabin, and was not surprised to see him walking towards the dock. She quickly shut down the chopper's engine and climbed out, steeling herself for the explosion she knew was coming.

"Hello, Hawke," she said with a nervous twitch to her voice.

"What the hell are you doing here, Caitlin?" String demanded, more harshly than he'd really intended to. _Today of all days, I can't believe you came up here, Caitlin. _Hawke said to himself. Then he realized something. _Wait a minute. How the hell does she know?_

"I'm sorry, Hawke...Dom..."

"He told you, didn't he?" Hawke growled, and Caitlin nodded, fear choking off her voice.

"Dammit," Hawke grumbled as he glared at her. "Why doesn't Dom mind his own damned business?"

"Hawke...I...I want to help. Dom only told me about today because I asked him. We've...I mean...I've been worried about you, String," Caitlin said, and Hawke's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her use of his first name. _She never calls me "String," _he said to himself, and he felt his initial anger, both at finding her there and realizing that Dominic had shared the date with her, dissipating quickly, and Hawke finally allowed a small smile to tease the corner of his mouth.

"Is that a smile I see, Hawke?"

His face split into a full-blown grin. "Yeah, Cait...I guess it is. Well, come on, we might as well go inside," Hawke said with a sigh, and slipped his arm around Caitlin's shoulders when she caught up to him, as they walked back to the cabin. Caitlin was startled when she felt Hawke's arm around her shoulders, but quickly slid her arm around his waist.

Once they were inside, Hawke fixed a glass of wine for both himself and Caitlin, then the two of them sat down across from each other on the couch. They sipped their wine in silence for a few minutes, then Caitlin finally broke the silence as she turned to String and said, "Tell me about him, Hawke."

"What?" Hawke asked, startled.

"Saint John. Tell me about him," Caitlin repeated as she fixed her eyes on his. "You never tell me much about your brother, and I'm curious. Friends are allowed to be curious, you know," she continued, then added, "and you already know about Erin and my brothers...so, what was Saint John like, when you two were young?"

"Well, Cait...he was the best big brother a guy could want. Especially after Mom and Dad died. He would do things for me that Dom either couldn't...or wouldn't, for whatever reason. When he decided to go into the service, he kinda decided for both of us." Hawke smiled at the memory.

"But, how did you two come to be in the same unit?" Caitlin asked, confused. "I thought there was that rule about brothers serving in the same unit..."

"The Sullivans' rule? Well, there was an exception during wartime...and, technically, we were in a state of war," Hawke answered, then continued, "And, we requested to serve together. It was Saint John's way of looking out for me," Hawke said with a sigh.

"That sounds like Brian," Caitlin said, referring to one of her older brothers. "He would do anything for Erin, or Callum...but especially for me. I think Saint John would like Brian," she continued, and Hawke was surprised that she mentioned Saint John with a positive inference.

"You believe me, then?" Hawke asked, surprised.

"That your brother's still alive?" Caitlin responded, then nodded. "Of course, I believe you, Hawke." She reached across the couch, and took one of his hands in hers. Looking into his icy blue eyes, she smiled and repeated, "Of course, I believe you. You've never lied to me, Hawke...so, if you say Saint John's alive, then I believe he is," Caitlin said, glancing at their joined hands. She noticed Hawke wasn't reacting to the fact that she held his hand, in fact, he almost seemed calmed by the gesture.

"Thank you, Caitlin," Hawke replied as he gazed into her hazel eyes, and thought to himself, _I never noticed how pretty her eyes are before. Heck...I've never noticed how pretty she is,_ Hawke said to himself, embarrassed. Slowly, he moved closer to her on the couch, not exactly sure what he was doing.

"Hawke? Are you all right?" Caitlin asked, suddenly worried. _He must not realize what he's doing, _Caitlin said to herself. _Oh, I don't mind...it's just...so unlike him._

"Huh? Oh...sorry, Cait," Hawke mumbled, embarrassed, but he didn't retreat across the couch. Caitlin relaxed and closed the distance between them, sliding her other arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay, Hawke," she murmured as she pulled him close to her, resting his head against her shoulder. "I just want to help." She held him for a few moments, then allowed him to raise his head and look into her eyes again.

"Caitlin, I...um...I want to apologize for what happened when you got here," Hawke mumbled. "I was terribly rude, and..."

"Hawke, it's _okay," _Caitlin interrupted him, smiling. "I told you already – I understand. Both why you were so rude and why you're so nervous right now." She had noticed the nerves in his eyes when she looked at him, and almost instinctively knew why they were there. _At least, I know why I _**hope**_ they're there, _she said to herself.

"Sometimes, Cait...I think I don't deserve to have you for a friend," Hawke admitted.

"Why would you say something like that, Hawke?" Caitlin asked, surprised.

"Well, let's face it, Cait...I can be downright rude sometimes...especially to you, and that's not fair," Hawke said, even as he wondered how the conversation had turned from talking about his brother to talking about their friendship.

"Well, Hawke, I'd be lying if I said that some of the things you've said...and done...didn't bother me," Caitlin replied, and Hawke knew almost instinctively what she meant. "But, we're still good friends, right?" She asked him, hoping that the look in her eyes didn't betray her true feelings. _I just wish...I wish we could be more, Hawke, _Caitlin's heart was saying. _Why can't you understand that...I love you?_ Finally, she determined that she might just have to take matters into her own hands.

_I know what you're doing, Cait,_ Hawke said to himself. He'd suspected for several weeks, ever since the incident with John Bradford Horn, that Caitlin felt something more than just friendship for him. _After all, she did say, 'I've got dibs on Angelica,' _Hawke said to himself. _She has to know...Caitlin has to know,_ Hawke decided.

"Cait...do you remember what you said about Angelica?" Hawke asked.

"When I said I had dibs on her? You bet I remember," Caitlin replied, and she knew Hawke could see the anger rising in her eyes.

"Cait, I need to tell you something – nothing happened between Angelica and me. At least, nothing like that. We kissed a few times, but nothing intimate," Hawke said, then added hurriedly, "If...that's what you were upset about."

_What a relief, _Caitlin said to herself, hoping her eyes didn't betray the sense of relief she felt. "Kinda," she said out loud, then added to herself, _I hope Hawke doesn't think I was jealous...even though I was._ "It just bothered me when I saw her walk out of your room...the look on her face..." Caitlin had to stop herself before she recalled the expression on Angelica's face, which had seemed to her at the time to be one of enormous satisfaction.

"Cait, I'll say it again – _nothing happened_ between us," Hawke reiterated. "Yeah, I was brainwashed and all that...but, I couldn't do anything like that with her," he continued.

"Well, Hawke, I'm glad to hear that," Caitlin said with more than a touch of relief. Changing the subject, she said, "Anyway, you were telling me about Saint John...he...um...he sounds like a real nice guy, Hawke..." Caitlin stammered, not wanting to add what she was thinking at the moment – _just like you._

"Yeah, he is, Cait...I...I think you'll like him, when we find him," Hawke answered, not exactly sure why Caitlin had suddenly stopped talking.

"I'm sure I will, Hawke," Caitlin replied, then added to herself, _but not the same way that I like you._ Aloud, she said, "And we'll find him...someday." She suddenly realized she had moved closer to him, leaving their faces just a few inches apart. Steeling herself, knowing the potential risks she was about to take, she leaned over and very gently kissed Hawke, slowly at first, but then she felt him respond and gather her into his arms, and the kiss gradually intensified. Finally, after what felt to Hawke like far too long, he separated them, feeling a need for oxygen that was stronger than anything else at that particular point. When he felt like he could construct a complete sentence, he asked, "What brought that on, Cait?"

"I'm sorry, Hawke," she began, and knew that her cheeks were already turning red, "but it just...felt like the right thing to do...you know?" _And once you put your arms around me, String, I **knew **it was the right thing to do, _Caitlin thought to herself, surprised at how comfortable she'd felt with Hawke's arms around her. _It felt like...like I was where I belonged...in your arms. _She watched him for any sign of rejection, any sign that she'd made a mistake—and was surprised when Hawke smiled and answered, "Yeah, Cait. It did feel right. And...there's something I want to tell you," he continued, gathering his confidence when he looked into Caitlin's eyes and saw the feelings there. "You know how I've always said that I felt like I had a curse on me...that everyone I love...or _might love, _will die...Well, with everything that's gone on since I met you, I've come to realize that...that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself...so maybe...maybe I don't have to worry so much about the curse, and I can tell you...how I really feel."

Caitlin didn't know how to react at first, then she finally found her voice and asked, "Just _how do _you feel about me, Hawke? Really?"

"Cait...I never thought I'd say this, but...I...I love you, Caitlin," Hawke finally blurted out.

Caitlin knew she couldn't answer him verbally, because of the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, so she did the only thing she knew to do – she pulled him back into her arms and kissed him again, more passionately this time, and felt their feelings build with every second that they held each other. Finally, Caitlin realized she needed to breathe as much as she needed Hawke, and slowly separated them, and when her voice came back to her, she whispered, "I...I love you, too, String," and smiled through the tears that were streaming down her face, then she noticed Hawke had tears of his own.

"String? What's wrong?" Caitlin asked, suddenly worried again.

"It's nothing, Cait," Hawke answered, but then added, "I'm just really happy right now...you know?"

"Yeah, Hawke," Caitlin answered him. "I do know. And...thanks, Hawke. For everything."

"Thank _you, _Caitlin," Hawke answered her. "For everything."

By the time Caitlin left the cabin several hours later, she knew that her life would never be the same. _I went up there to help Hawke get through today, and I find out that he loves me, _she mused to herself after she landed back at Santini Air and headed home. _I had no idea Hawke felt that way about me...but, I'm glad I know now, _she said to herself that night when she climbed into bed. _Boy, are we gonna have some stories to tell Dom tomorrow, _she said to herself, knowing that sleep would not come easily tonight.

Meanwhile, Hawke was also marveling at the turn events had taken. _I can't believe what happened today, _Hawke said to himself as he got ready for bed that night. _Cait came here to help me get through Saint John's birthday...and now I come to find out...she loves me. And, I love her. _ As he drifted off to sleep, Hawke felt a shift in the air around the cabin, as if a great burden had been lifted from his mind. He knew, instinctively, that his life, and Caitlin's, would never be the same again. _Especially now that we've admitted how we feel about each other...and we can start thinking about a life...together,_ Hawke admitted to himself. _And maybe, someday..._he suddenly found himself and Caitlin standing together on the dock, surrounded by her family and their closest friends, exchanging wedding vows. _Soon...I hope_, Hawke said to himself as sleep finally claimed him. He knew they were a ways off from a trip down the aisle at this point, but he couldn't keep the vision of them exchanging wedding vows out of his mind. _Someday, _his mind whispered again. _Someday...soon._


	2. Chapter 2

_I Want To Help, Chapter 2_

A/N #1 – I don't own the characters...either Bellisario or Universal does. But since _they _won't play with these characters anymore, I do every now and then.

A/N #2 – This is another idea from Starclipper01, with a little refining from Sirius7.

Summary – What effects have the events of Chapter 1 had on Hawke's friendship with Dom?

The next morning, Dominic was worried sick when he arrived at Santini Air and took a helicopter up to the cabin. _I haven't heard from String...or Caitlin, for that matter, since Friday,_ Dominic said to himself, _and I'm worried. Hell...forget worried. I'm scared to death. I think I'm in serious trouble, _he added to himself as he took one of the helicopters up to Hawke's cabin to pick him up.

By the time he landed the helicopter on the dock of Hawke's cabin, Dom felt his anxiety increase a thousand fold. _What sort of frame of mind is he in? How angry is he? _Dom couldn't even bring himself to get out of the helicopter and meet Hawke at the door like he usually did, instead deciding to wait in the chopper. When he saw Hawke coming out of the cabin, Dom did a double-take. _Is it my imagination...or is he _**smiling? **As Hawke got closer and got into the helicopter, he slapped Dom on the shoulder and said, "Mornin', Dom!"

"Mornin', String!" Dom responded with a smile as Hawke strapped himself into the co-pilot's seat of the helicopter. "What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" Dom asked, even though he had a suspicion he knew the answer. _Please, tell me it worked, _Dom said to himself as he throttled the helicopter up and lifted off, aiming back toward Van Nuys._ I'd hate to think String hates Caitlin now...as much as he probably hates me._

"Dom...I want to thank you for what you did," Hawke said sincerely. "I...I really appreciated having Caitlin come up to the cabin. And Dom...I don't hate you...or Cait," Hawke smiled at his friend and surrogate father, and Dominic's expression seemed to be one of shock.

"Wait a second...who the hell are you, and where the hell is String?" Dom demanded. He had been expecting String to either scream at him the entire trip back, completely ignore him, or drag him out of the helicopter and knock him senseless. _I can't believe this, _Dom said to himself, _he actually seems _**happy.**_ At least, happier than I've seen him since...since I can't-remember-when. What went on up here yesterday?_

"Dom," String replied, still smiling, "A lot happened yesterday when Caitlin came...and I promise, we'll tell you all about it, once we're all together. Okay?" Hawke glanced over at his friend and mentor, and grinned again, even wider than before.

_I'm dreaming. That's the only thing that makes any sense here. I've gotta be dreaming, _Dom said to himself. _I'm gonna wake up...and when I _**really **_get to the cabin, the real String's gonna come out, drag me out of this helicopter, and knock my lights out. _But the rest of the flight passed in silence, which actually felt more right to Dominic than Hawke's reaction when he first boarded the chopper. _Well now, this is more like it, _Dom said to himself. He had to admit, the silence felt more natural than Hawke's smiling and friendly attitude when he came out of the cabin. When they arrived at Santini Air, Dom realized that he hadn't been dreaming when String boarded his chopper. Caitlin was already there, which didn't surprise either man. What _did _surprise Dominic was Caitlin's expression as she came out of the hangar. _Okay, now I _**know**_ I'm dreaming**, **_Dom said to himself. _Caitlin's grinning just like String. Something's going on here...and I think I like it...if it's what I think...wait...what I _**hope, and pray, **_it is._

"Mornin', Dom! Hi, String!" Caitlin called out as she jogged out to meet them, and Dom immediately noticed the smile she wore, which looked very similar to the one he'd found String wearing when they met at the cabin.

_'String'? Since when does Cait call him 'String?' She's called him Hawke ever since I can remember, _Dom said to himself, confused. His confusion only seemed to multiply when he watched String and Caitlin exchange a loving embrace, and walk back to the hangar arm-in-arm, hers around his waist, and his around her shoulders. _I don't get this at all,_ Dom said to himself, more confused than ever; _and I know I thought this before, but I think I like it!_

Finally, after everyone had a cup of coffee and was sitting around the office, Dom asked, "Okay, you two...will _one of you please _tell me what's going on?" He couldn't help but notice that Hawke and Caitlin sat closer to each other than he'd ever seen before, and Dom also noticed they were holding hands. "Is there...something you want to tell me?" He _thought_ he knew what was going on, but didn't want to assume anything, especially where String was concerned...but things were starting to add up in Dom's mind, and he had to admit—he liked what they were adding up _to_. _String's expression when he came out...Cait's expression when we got here...if I didn't know better, I'd swear those two were in love...in love with each other, I mean. Man, I hope I'm not crazy! _

"Well, Dom...when Cait came up to the cabin yesterday, as I'm sure you've probably guessed, I was...upset," String said, and Dom's expression quickly turned from happiness to concern. Hawke continued, "I was upset because I had a hunch that you told Caitlin about why I'd been so moody and depressed lately...and she confirmed it. She explained to me that you'd told her about Saint John's birthday, and that was the reason why I had been so depressed the past couple of days." By this time, Dominic looked thoroughly confused.

_Come on, String! _Dom was growing impatient with his younger surrogate son. _Tell me what the heck has you grinning like the cat that ate the canary, already! Good grief...those grins look like they _**both **_need to be surgically removed._

"Okay, String...I admit that I told her about Saint John's birthday," Dom interrupted, "and I apologize for doing that. I know I gave you my word I wouldn't tell anybody...but when Cait asked why you'd been so upset...I felt like she had the right to know," Dom still expected Hawke to become angry at some point.

"Dom, it's okay," String replied, still smiling. "Caitlin explained everything, and I understood why you did it. I was upset when I first saw her...but Caitlin got me calmed down and we had a nice talk about Saint John. And...we talked about a few other things, too," Hawke admitted, noticing Dom hadn't taken his eyes off their joined hands.

"So? Is this what I think...check that...what I _hope _it is?" Dominic asked hopefully, pointing at their hands, but finally sick of waiting for an explanation.

Caitlin and Hawke looked at each other, smiled even wider, and Caitlin responded, "Yeah, Dom...it is. String told me he loved me yesterday...and what else could I do but tell him I felt the same way about him." Hawke and Cait stood up in unison, as Dom sprang out of his chair and engulfed his two young friends in a warm, friendly embrace, even as he raised his eyes to the heavens and said a silent prayer. _Thank God, _Dom said to himself. _Not only is String not mad at me, but he and Cait have finally found each other. It's a miracle!_

"Well, String...I've gotta say, you've made an old man very happy today," Dominic admitted after the three of them released each other. "You don't know how long I've been hoping you'd come to your senses about Cait, old buddy!" Dom laughed as he thought back over the past year and a half since Caitlin had arrived from Pope County, Texas. _I mean, String even trusted Cait about Airwolf, _Dom said to himself, still grinning, _and I _**know**_ how hard that was for him. And I was getting so frustrated with String for not seeing what was right in front of him...but I guess he sees it now. _

"Actually, Dom, I think I do know how long you've been hoping I'd get my head on straight about Caitlin's feelings," Hawke replied, as he recalled how Dom had said, 'she was...kinda cute, huh, String?' after they left Pope County after rescuing Caitlin from the sheriff a year and a half ago, "and you were right. I've got a lot of making up to do, I know, but..."

"String," Caitlin interrupted him, smiling, "I told you yesterday that I understood why you acted like you did...and I forgive you." _But whatever he might decide to do to make up, I certainly won't stop him, _Caitlin said to herself happily.

"Thanks, Cait," Hawke answered with a smile of his own. "That means a lot. And, Dom...I forgive you for telling Caitlin about Saint John...I think you were right all along – I did need to share yesterday with someone...and you've been telling me that for years. And since you couldn't be there yesterday, Dom...I couldn't think of a better person to share it with than Caitlin," Hawke admitted, and Dominic recognized what it took for Hawke to make that admission.

"Stringfellow Hawke, admitting he might be wrong about something?" Dom asked with a smile. "Now, I _know_ I'm dreaming!" The trio laughed at Dom's insinuation, but Hawke had to admit to himself that there was more than a grain of truth in Dom's statement. _I don't admit I'm wrong very __often, _Hawke said to himself, _so I can understand why Dom said that._

Later, Hawke and Caitlin took a break from the hangar and took a short walk. Hawke had some other things he wanted to talk to Caitlin about, and he didn't want to let them go for too long.

"Cait...about what I said a little while ago...I didn't just mean I had to make up for what happened yesterday," Hawke said quietly. "I figure I've got...about a year and a half worth of making up to do, for the way I treated you...and the way I ignored your feelings." Hawke knew that he'd been terribly insensitive, even though he hadn't really understood exactly how Caitlin felt about him until yesterday afternoon.

"It doesn't matter, String," Caitlin said as they stopped walking so she could look into his eyes. "What happened before doesn't matter now...and, I said yesterday that I forgive you for everything...and I meant _everything,_" she said honestly. She knew, of course, what Hawke was referring to – not only the fact that he had been ignoring her feelings for so long, even though she had made numerous attempts, up until the previous afternoon at the cabin, to show him how she felt about him, but other things Hawke had done, and not done, over that period of time. _Not only that,_ she mused to herself, _but then Hawke dated other women...like Rosalind, and I had to deal with seeing him with other women. But none of that matters anymore. Now we're together...and we can start thinking about maybe building a life with each other. Oh, he's not ready for that...yet,_ Caitlin said to herself; _but someday...I want to be his wife. More than I've wanted anything for a long, long time._

"String? Did I tell you I talked to Mom after I went home last night?" Caitlin asked him.

_Uh-oh. _Hawke suddenly felt uneasy. "No, Cait. I don't recall you mentioning that." What he _did_ recall, however, were the many letters she read to himself and Dominic from her mother, most of which were basically trying to tell Caitlin to "forget that danged fool Hawke" and come back home to Texas. _And I'm surprised she didn't go home, _Hawke had to admit to himself.

"So...what did your mom have to say?" Hawke asked. "I suppose you told her..."

"About us? _Of course _I told her, you _lunkhead! _Well, after she stopped screaming and jumping for joy, she told me she was happy that you finally saw sense," Caitlin replied with a smile. "You know she was threatening to come out here and find you herself, and try to get you to understand how I felt about you."

"I seem to recall hearing something about that, yeah," Hawke replied. "So, she's happy that we're together?"

"'Happy' doesn't _begin_ to describe it, Hawke," Caitlin answered him. "'_Ecstatic' _is more like it. You don't know how upset she really got, thinking that you'd never see sense about me. And Erin...well, you remember how I told you that she was writing me and threatening to come out here and _beat_ some sense into you!"

"I think I have a pretty good idea how your mom felt," Hawke answered, remembering some of the last few letters Caitlin had read from her mother. "And I do remember what your sister wrote about...and I don't blame her," Hawke said. _If I had a daughter, and some guy was treating her the way I've been treating Cait, nobody could have stopped me from finding the guy and trying to straighten him out. __Heck...if Saint John did the same thing to some girlfriend of his, I'd probably beat the crap outta him...just like Erin threatened to do to me._Some of what Caitlin had read was not exactly fit for public consumption, and had even caused Dominic to shudder a time or two. Hawke felt an enormous sense of relief that Caitlin's mom and older sister seemed to have happily accepted the news of their new relationship.

"Mom said to tell you that she thinks you're good for me, Hawke...and, I have to agree with her," Caitlin said, gazing into Hawke's eyes again. "I think you're going to be very good for me."

"Well, Caitlin...all I can say is, I think you're going to be very good for me, too," Hawke replied as he embraced her again. "And, one other thing, Cait...thank you," Hawke said to her as they started back towards the hangar.

"For what, String?"

"For being so patient with me...about everything. Most women wouldn't have, you know," Hawke admitted.

"Well, Hawke...it's lucky for _you_ that I'm not most women," Caitlin replied, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"Very lucky," Hawke agreed as they stopped walking again, and moved into each other's arms.

By the time they got back to the hangar, Dom had decided to close up early, as business was still down, and they really didn't have much going on. Before he left, Dom had to exchange another friendly embrace with both Hawke and Caitlin, telling them how happy he was that they were finally together. Hawke didn't have much to say, other than to tell Dom, "Don't jump to any conclusions, Dom."

"Who? _Me?" _Dom was indignant, but the smile on his face betrayed his true emotions. "I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, String...you know that. I'm just happy you two are finally together...that's all," he said with a smile.

"You're not the only one, Dom," Caitlin told him with a smile, one that she noticed Hawke shared. "I'm happy...and relieved, that we're finally together, too. And, I don't plan on letting this guy go for a long time!" The expression on her face spoke volumes to both Dominic and String, and Hawke could only smile again.

Later, Hawke took Caitlin with him to the cabin for dinner, and so they could have some time alone together. As they ate, Hawke recognized that his life would never be the same, especially now that Caitlin was in it. He felt Caitlin had filled a large gap in his life, and he knew he would never be able to repay her for everything she had done for him. _But, I'm going to have a lot of fun trying,_ Hawke said to himself.

Caitlin could hardly believe it when Hawke asked her to dance after dinner, but the sincerity in his eyes was all the confirmation she needed. As she slid into his arms in the middle of the living room floor, she felt herself awash in the feelings she had for Hawke. _I still can't believe it, _she said to herself as she moved with Hawke to the romantic music, marveling at how comfortably her body fit against his. _He finally admitted it...he loves me. I have wanted to feel Hawke's arms around me this way for so long...and now that it's happened, I still can't believe it. Now I know how Dom felt this morning...I swear, I've gotta be dreaming._

Almost as if he were reading her thoughts, Hawke said, "Believe it, Cait. I love you...so very much. And," Hawke smiled as they moved together, "You're not dreaming." Hawke gently pinched her arm to prove to her that she was really there, wrapped in Hawke's arms, and everything that was happening was real. Finally, Hawke noticed tears in her eyes and said, concerned, "Cait? You okay?"

Smiling through her tears, Caitlin moved closer to Hawke and said, "Yeah, Hawke...I'm okay. And...I love you, too, Stringfellow Hawke. Very much. Never forget that, Hawke. Promise me you'll never forget that."

"I won't, Cait," Hawke promised her, and sealed it with a deep and loving kiss. "I promise you, I won't. And, you remember yesterday when you said you wanted to help me?"

"Yes, Hawke?" Caitlin responded, her eyes shining.

"You have helped me, so much," Hawke answered honestly, pulling her close to his body. "And I think it's only going to get better," he finished.

"I sure hope so, Hawke," Caitlin answered him, her head resting on his shoulder contentedly as she snuggled into him. "I sure hope so. I was so worried...wait. I wasn't just worried...I was _scared..._scared to death that you'd never let me in...never let me show you how much you mean to me...and how much I love you," she admitted.

"Caitlin, that's something I'll regret for the rest of my life. If I could go back and change anything, I'd have made sure I recognized my feelings for you a lot sooner. And, I promise you this once again – I will always love you, Caitlin," Hawke replied before he kissed her again.

By the time he took Caitlin home, and returned to the cabin alone, Hawke was already missing her. _But, I'll see her in the morning, _Hawke said to himself as he went to sleep that night. _And, maybe __someday soon...we'll be spending our nights together here, too. _But he knew that was a ways off yet, and he wasn't going to risk messing up what they were beginning by pushing for something like that before he thought both of them were ready. _Soon,_ Hawke said to himself. _It'll happen, eventually._ He smiled broadly as he dropped off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_I Want To Help, Chap. 3_

A/N #1 – I don't own the characters...either Bellsario or Universal does. But since _they _won't play with these characters anymore, I do every now and then.

A/N #2 – This is another idea from Starclipper01, with a little refining from Sirius7. Events depicted here occur approximately three years after the events of Chap. 2.

"So now, wait a second, little brother," Saint John Hawke said as he sat down in the office of Santini Air. He was there with Dom, String, and String's wife, Caitlin. "You're trying to tell me that Caitlin came up to the cabin, _by herself, _on my birthday, and by the end of the day, you realized how you felt about her? Sorry, String...but I don't buy it."

"Sinj," String replied, "I know it sounds unbelievable...heck, I didn't believe it was happening when it _did _happen. But, that's exactly what did happen." He smiled at his wife as they both recalled the day three years earlier when Caitlin had come up to the cabin to try and help String deal with the anniversary of his older brother's birthday.

"Weren't you scared, Cait?" Saint John asked. "I mean, I know what String's like when he gets angry...and I can't imagine he was too pleased to see you up at the cabin that day."

"That's putting it _mildly, _Sinj," Cait said with a smile as she glanced at her husband. "When I got out of the helicopter up at the cabin, I was scared _to death. _I didn't know what your brother was going to do when he found me out there." Stringfellow quickly took his wife's hand, as he could see the emotions that the memory was dredging up within her.

"Cait," String began, "you know I'd never do anything to..." He couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence.

"No, String," Caitlin hurriedly assured her husband. "I knew you wouldn't do anything to hurt me...at least, not physically. Now, emotionally, I didn't know what you might do. I was prepared for a screaming match...the silent treatment, anything...except what I got."

"Yeah, I did kinda take you by surprise," String laughed as he remembered the look on her face when he said, _"Well, we might as well go inside," _and then put his arm around her as they walked back to the cabin. "So, Cait...which surprised you more...when I invited you inside, or when I put my arm around you?" String asked.

"What about _'both'? _I mean, String, let's face it," Caitlin answered him, "you were never much for physical contact between us before then...and I didn't know what to think when I felt your arm around me. But," she said with a smile, "I did like it. And I especially liked when you invited me inside."

"I kinda noticed that," String replied, and smiled at the memory, especially when he recalled their first _real _kiss, which happened a short time later.

"I still don't buy it," Saint John said. "Dom? What were you thinking during all of this?"

"Hey, Sinj, I hadn't seen any of it," Dom piped up. "I was busy that day, so I couldn't go up to the cabin and be with String like I had before...and Cait volunteered to go up instead."

"She _volunteered?"_ Saint John all but shouted in disbelief.

"Yeah, Sinj, I _volunteered," _Caitlin shot back, grinning. "I knew String shouldn't be alone that day...so I told Dom I'd fly up to the cabin and be with String. And, I don't mind tellin' you, it was not something I was particularly looking forward to. I just...just _knew _I had to do it, since Dom couldn't be there."

"So, tell me a little more about this...encounter," Saint John said, grinning. String smiled and related the story, from the part where he and Caitlin had gone into the cabin, up until he started moving closer to her on the couch. He had to stop at that point, and Caitlin laughed. "I still remember that...the closer you got to me, the more I was thinking, _What the heck is he doing? And, does he even know he's doing it?"_

"To tell you the truth, Cait, I wasn't thinking," String admitted, and blushed slightly. "It...just felt right," he said, and Caitlin stifled a chuckle at those words.

"I know I heard that somewhere before," Caitlin said. "Oh, yeah, I remember," she continued, giving String her best impish grin. "It was right after I kissed you," she said, and String nodded, smiling as he remembered how startled he'd been at first.

"But, in all fairness," Caitlin said, "you warmed up to what I was doing pretty quick," and String nodded as he remembered just _how quickly_ he'd warmed up to Caitlin's kiss.

"Yeah," String said, and smiled first at his wife, then at his older brother, whose expression bordered somewhere between total disbelief and incomprehension.

"I don't get it," Saint John said, shaking his head. "I don't get it at all. But," he added, smiling at his sister-in-law, "I can definitely see how being married to you has improved my kid brother's attitude, Caitlin. Whatever magic you've worked on him, I hope it never goes away."

"I wouldn't worry about that, Sinj," Caitlin said with a smile. "I don't plan on letting String go for a _long time. _I signed on 'till death do us part,' you know."

"Me, too," String agreed as he reached over and took hold of Caitlin's hand. "I have to admit...I was a little paranoid at first...what with the curse and everything..."

"String," Saint John interrupted him, "don't you think me being back kinda blows a big hole in that so-called 'curse'?"

"Sinj, you know I hate when you're right," String replied with a grin. "Especially since you seem to be right so often," he said, ignoring the dirty look his older brother shot at him.

"Older brother's prerogative," Saint John replied, smirking. "I'm _supposed _to know everything."

"Yeah, yeah," String shot back, and grinned at his older brother to let him know there were no hard feelings. "Well...don't let that go to your head, Sinj."

Saint John stared at his younger brother as if to say, _Who, _**me?** Aloud, he said, "String...you know me better than that."

"Yeah...that's why I said it," String said and grinned at his older brother again.

"Okay, okay," Saint John chuckled, then turned to Caitlin. "So, Cait...what happened after you left?"

"Well, Sinj," Caitlin replied, using the nickname she'd heard String use for his older brother, "when Dom brought Hawke in the next morning, I swear he didn't know what was going on." Caitlin stifled a chuckle as she pictured Dominic's expression that morning, when he and String got out of the chopper.

"Oh, that's putting it mildly, sweetheart," Dom said with a slight laugh. "When String came out of the cabin that morning, I was _scared to death. _Probably even more scared than you were on Sunday afternoon." Caitlin simply smiled at him. _I don't know about that. I don't think anybody could have been that scared._

"So?" Saint John demanded.

"So...what?" String shot back, smiling.

_I don't believe it. Cait gave my kid brother his sense of humor back. He's almost like a whole new person. No...actually, he's more like he was before Kelly died. _"So...when did you two decide to..."

"Move in together? Oh, about two weeks after that incident," Caitlin said. "I finally decided that I was tired of comin' to an empty apartment...not to mention an empty bed, every day when I left here."

"Well, I can't imagine String was too receptive to _that _idea, either," Saint John replied, and grinned at both his brother and sister-in-law.

"That's where you'd be wrong, Sinj," String replied. "Especially since _I _was the one to suggest it." String finished, smiling as he noted Saint John's expression. "Oh, at first I was a little hesitant...but then I realized kinda the same thing Cait did...it was not pleasant being alone every day after work, and then again every night after I'd seen Cait. So, I asked her if she wanted to move up to the cabin with me...I think it took her about five seconds to decide she did," Hawke said, and smiled as he recalled that day.

"_Y'know, Cait, I've been thinking," _String had said one evening after dropping Caitlin back at her apartment. _"Isn't it a little ridiculous, you coming back here and being alone every night, and me going back to the cabin and being alone every night? Now that we know how we feel about each other..." _Hawke suddenly became nervous, and couldn't finish his sentence.

"_String? Are you asking what I think...no, wait...what I _**hope **_you're asking me?" _Caitlin had wanted to know. She wanted nothing more than to be Hawke's wife, she'd known this from the day she first came to California to find him. _But in the meantime, I'd like nothin' better than to wake up next to him every morning...and go to sleep in his arms every night._

"_Well, that all depends,_" String had said. _"How would you feel about making the cabin your permanent home? I'd...I'd really like it if you'd move in there with me, Cait, and..."_ Hawke had been cut off in the middle of his sentence when Caitlin grabbed him and kissed him fiercely, but passionately. And they'd gotten her moved up to the cabin in a day's time.

"Now, that I _can_ vouch for," Dominic said, laughing. He still recalled the day when, after he dropped String at the cabin, Hawke had said, _"Dom...Cait and I are gonna need your help tomorrow."_

"_Oh?" _Dom had asked, and String had smiled when he pictured Dom's reaction to what he was about to say. _"Doing what? You mind my asking?"_

"_For once, no," _String had responded. _"Dom...Cait wants to move up here with me...so we're gonna need your help to get it done as quickly as possible." _

"_Oh, sure, String...I can...wait. _**WHAT did you say?**_ I coulda sworn you just said Cait was gonna move into the cabin with you."_

"_That's what I said, Dom. We decided that it was ridiculous living apart from each other, now that we know we love each other. And," _Hawke had said, _"you can't tell me you haven't thought about it, at least once."_

"_If I said I hadn't, I'd be lyin,' String!" _Dom had said, relieved that his two "kids" had finally seen the light...especially String. Dom had been bothering String for over two years, practically since the day Cait's plane had been hijacked while she was flying home for her sister's wedding, to get String and Caitlin together. And he also knew what Caitlin had told him just a few weeks previous, when Hawke was kidnapped by John Bradford Horn.

"_Dom, don't do that to me. I care about him too, you know – _**probably more than you know."** Cait had said. _And I sure as hell knew she didn't mean like a brother, _Dom had said to himself later.

"And of course, once we were living together, it was just a matter of time before we got married," String said, bringing himself back to the present.

"Well, little brother," Saint John said with a smile and a shake of his head, "I have to say – after Kelly...I never thought you'd get serious about anybody again. But in this case, I'm glad I was wrong."

"Hey, Sinj," String said, smiling back at his brother, "it's okay...hell, _I _didn't think I'd ever get serious about anybody again after Kelly was killed. But, I hadn't met Cait yet," he finished with a smile directed at his wife.

"Ah, String," Dom smiled as he shook his head, "It was a good day when Cait came lookin' for you...even if it _did _take you two years to acknowledge it!" He laughed heartily, and was surprised when String joined him.

"Yeah, Dom...but then again, I always was the stubborn one," String replied, and noticed Saint John nodding in return.

Just then, String turned toward his wife, just in time to see her topple out of the chair she was sitting in. _"CAIT!" _Hawke screamed as he caught her, and Dom was already on the move, grabbing the keys to one of the Jeeps. In a few minutes, they were on their way to the hospital, Saint John following just behind.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a few minutes, Hawke and Dom pulled up at the emergency entrance. Caitlin had come around by this time, and when she realized they were at a hospital, she asked what they were doing there.

"Sweetheart," Hawke said as he helped her out of the Jeep, "you fainted on us back at the hangar. You need to get checked out," he said as Caitlin shook her head.

"Nah, String, I'm okay..." Caitlin stopped as another wave of dizziness hit her, then looked at her husband sheepishly and said, "Guess you're right. I haven't been feeling like myself lately."

"And why didn't you say anything about this?" Hawke asked as a wheelchair was brought out.

"Oh, String...I didn't want to worry you, or Dom, or anybody else," Caitlin said. "I'm fine...just get a little dizzy every now and then, that's all. Especially in the morning, for some strange reason." She smiled up at her husband, whose face bore more concern than she'd seen there in a long time.

Caitlin was wheeled into an examination room while Dom, String and Saint John sat in the waiting room. Saint John looked at his younger brother with concern. "You okay, little brother?"

"Yeah...no, I'm not," String replied. "I had no idea she was sick...she's seemed fine until she fainted this morning. If anything's happened to her..."

"Relax, String," Dom said, his hand on his younger "son's" shoulder. "Cait's gonna be fine. She's tough...like you and Sinj. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, Dom," String said, and brightened up a little. "I know."

A few minutes later, a female doctor came over to the group. "Mr. Hawke?"

"Yes?" Saint John and String both stood up at the same time.

"I'm sorry...Mr. Stringfellow Hawke?"

"Yes, Doctor," String said impatiently. "How's my wife?"

Smiling, the doctor said, "Why don't you ask her that yourself?" and led the group into the examination room where Caitlin had just finished buttoning up her shirt.

"Cait? Are you okay?" String demanded, a little more harshly than he'd intended.

"Hawke," Caitlin said, and String noticed tears in her eyes, "I'm fine...and...I'm _pregnant._"

"_WHAT?" _from all three men at the same time, although Dom had his suspicions when Caitlin said she got dizzy, "especially in the morning, for some strange reason." _I wondered if it might be morning sickness...guess we know, now_.

.

"That's correct, Mr. Hawke," the doctor said, smiling. "Caitlin's about six weeks pregnant. I've given her a prescription for some prenatal vitamins...her iron count's a bit low, which is why she fainted this morning. She'll be fine with those and a sensible diet. And by the way, Caitlin...Stringfellow," the doctor said with a smile, "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Doctor," Stringfellow and Caitlin said together, as he took his wife in his arms.

"Can you believe it, String?" Caitlin asked, still incredulous. "We're gonna have a _baby._"

"Wow," String answered, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was going to be a father...and the consequences for the Airwolf crew. _If Cait thinks I'm gonna let her fly on Airwolf much longer, she's got another think coming. And of course, there's whether or not she's going to fly _**after **_the baby's born. But, we've got the better part of eight months to figure all that out. _As they drove back to the hangar, everyone was excited about the prospect of a little Hawke running around the cabin. Later that evening, after String and Caitlin had gone home, String said, "You know this is going to change some things. I mean, if anything happens..."

"Yeah, String," Cait replied, knowing what he was referring to. "But, I think I'll be able to manage...both as a mommy and an Airwolf crewmember. You're not gonna get rid of me that easy, String!" she smiled as she kissed him, pouring all the love and passion she held for him into it.

When they separated, Caitlin looked into her husband's eyes and said, "I love you, String. Always, and forever."

"And I love you, Cait," Hawke said as the two of them retired upstairs for the evening. As he took her into his arms in bed, Stringfellow Hawke thought of everything that had happened in the three years since he'd heard Caitlin say to him, _"I want to help." _As he felt sleep claim him, he knew that his life was immeasurably better, now that Caitlin was a part of it. _Thank you, Caitlin O'Shannessy Hawke, _String said to himself. _Thank you for everything._


End file.
